| in my 3rd trimester!
seems like time is just flying by .
But going by way to slow
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| Every moment of thought seems like its consumed with my ex boyfriend, my family, and my baby most of all .
It's like I havent even thought about what i want if it doesnt have to do with the nugget in my stomach.
sometimes I want to be selfish.
everyones telling me im strong.
stronger than most.
giving up my dreams for someone I dont even know yet.
So many mothers do it.
BUT
and i could really use a good book,many good books actually, a cozy redecorated house, a new purse to make me feel better
and a tattoo for a fresh start
I want to be selfish but I cant,
When will I ever have the desire to do anything for myself?
seems like before thats all i thought about.
what else was there?
I so selfishly consumed with the stupidest bullshit, but i kind of miss it.
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| WHOLE LION KING MOVIE .
YOUR WELCOME.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB47ALtocKU&feature=player_embedded
[javier dunn - if you go.]
im more in touch with my spirituality than i ever had before.
and its scary
I sit down and i just want to thank something,someone.
but i dont know who.
I just want to drop down to the ground and cry out
that i am blessed.
and scared.
I am part of this world.
I am now part of the cycle
im contributing my body
my life
another thing that scares me.
for another being.
who has my heart,who was taken over my thoughts and consumed me in a beautiful way.
Everyone has to contribute something to this world
if its big or small.
sometimes i feel like i contribute nothing, but this is still what i believe.
everyone sacrifices.
believe me i know.
everyone gives, everyone takes.
I dont know if i give enough,except bad advice and words of wisdom.
those that think they are nothing
they are everything.
some people who think they are worth nothing,mean more to me then words can express.
People on who i've grown to love over the years on xanga,people in my life here.
to someone,
me.
are cries for help, are not always answered
are praises sometimes are not appreciated
but you are born you will die.
someone will cry and someone will not care.
but its ok.
its a cycle.
just make sure to make it your own cycle.
walk your walk .
live your life.
let me repeat this.
YOUR LIFE.
no ones life is the same.
so who are they to judge.
I'm thinking of getting a rose tattoo after my sunshine Ella Rose is born,haven't made my mind up yet.
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